...Andy needs a new pair of shoes.
But unfortunately he's come up against a rabid left wing conspiracy theory to land him in trouble with his masters.
Those commie dogs the BMA (Think NUM with a guillotine) have dared to speak out against his plan to make the NHS great again by letting the lowest bidder put their instrument up your ass.
According to our friends at the Mail the 'most powerful trade union in the health service' have had the audacity to point out that none of the stuff Andy wants to do was mentioned by either the conservatives or the Lib Dems in their election manifestos. In fact the Lib Dem are particularly peeved, so much so that even Nasty-Nick had to say out loud that privatising the NHS is bad.
Who the hell do these cowboys think they are eh? And what do they know? They don't represent all the doctors in the country, only about 140,000 of them (There's about 220,000 Doctors in the UK and about 110,000 work for the NHS) and as a spokesman for the Dept of health says "The BMA's own survey shows their position is not representative of many of their members"
He's right the BMA's own survey of their members shows about a fifth of doctors broadly support the proposals, however over a third are against the ideas. In fact even amongst the supporters less than half of them think it will lead to a more effective health service and over half think it will lead to them spending less time with patients. Maybe that's the incentive for the pro-reformers. I wouldn't want to spend all that time studying hard only to have to waste each day listening to fat old men complaining about chest pains and then have to stick my finger up his bum.
So that's why a minority of patient-avoiding doctors would be happy with the changes oh that coupled with the Guardian's thoughts they might get paid a bit more, but why is Andy Lansley gagging for the change?
It can't be that he's getting money from a private healthcare company could it? No of course not, he's not a bent politician only in it for himself. They only exist in foreign lands, he's from Essex a county with a reputation for honesty. That's why there's so many second hand car dealers in Romford.
It's a coincidence that Care UK - a private healthcare company that's spent £3m on a clinic providing ultrasound diagnostics to anyone who wants to pay for them and another £2m for a specialist eating disorder clinic in the first two months of this year, just in time for an opening up of the NHS to private healthcare companies - gave him over £20,000 to spend on curtains for his office.
So obviously he's not doing this because he's corrupt. No he's doing it because he's a bastard.