Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Oh my giddy aunt

I'm not going to enter into a discussion about the science and risk associated with the report of cancer causing night lights, others are much better placed to discuss that area.
I'm not even going to mention the fact that they quote the Daily Express in the last paragraph quoting someone else. The laziness of Daily Mail staff is now becoming legendary.

I'd like to take this opportunity to paint a picture of your common or garden Daily Mail reader sat in his £350,000 semi in Esher.

He hates to be told what to do. It's as simple as that. His reaction to an order follows a well described process.

1) Indignation.
In a world where things are either right or wrong, black or white it's a harsh shock to suffer when someone tells you you are wrong. Even worse when it means you have to do something and worse still if it's done for the benefit of others. So when a Spanish Eurocrat dictates something for the benefit of future generations you'll boil with resentment.

What right does that foreigner have to tell a man of your life experience (You don't get to senior office manager by sitting on your arse, well you do but...) tell you what the right thing to do is. You know, you can feel it in your gut. Although it could well be the ulcer playing up - stress does bring the worst out of it.

2) Rebelling
If they were told not to put their cocks in a blender an onlooker would be deafened by the tuts and harumphs followed by the roar of a Kenwoods starting up.

3) Yeah but...
These edicts only ever affect you negatively. Everyone else in the world is either not affected or it's making their lot a little easier. The blender thing, oh don't get me started. Muslims circumcise their boys without anyone interfering for fear of upsetting them, but when I want to mutilate my genitals out come the PC brigade.

4) Ha, I was right all along!
This is a delayed reaction, but you can bet your ass it'll turn up. Somewhere - like the lanky, uncomfortable, too-clever-for-his-own-good teenager who proves to his maths class that actually 2+2 can equal 5 - out pops evidence that they were right all along. This reaction will prove almost anything, taxing the rich causes poverty, windmills murder birds of prey or banning fox hunting gives foxes the edge they need in the war against humans.

This is what we're seeing here in this lightbulb story. We've reached stage 4 of the process. Ban something I use will you, well I'll show you good when it's given me head cancer. Ha.

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1 comment:

  1. Can I safely turn on fairy lights for Wills & Kate?