This really happened...

...it said so in the paper.

A school in Scarborough - terrified that their chubby charges might break out in a sweat - told parents to put away the inhalers their kids were safe.

In fact it's worse than you imagine, the Mail tells us what they actually said to becalm the meaty monsters worrying about hauling their bulk down the race track.

Parents attending a school sports day were stunned by a public announcement their children did not have to take part in the races. 

It added that if the primary pupils chose to spend the rest of the afternoon on their backsides rather than the track families should 'respect their decision'.

The tannoy actually blurted out that they could spend the rest of the afternoon on their backsides. Yeah that really happened - it says so right here in the paper. Not only that some of the podgy little porkers did it, actually sat on their backsides and guzzled - yes you read that right - they guzzled pop. You know it's true because 'one parent' said it and they really exist and they're really furious.

The council didn't help. They refused to comment directly on the farce. Instead they wheedled their way out of it by saying that ''All 425 children at Newby and Scalby primary school take part in sports day." Sly foxes, impossible to get a straight word out of them eh?


As if sarcastic public announcements mocking fat kids isn't bad enough you can't even take photos of the little salad dodgers in case they end up on t'internet for paedos to get their jollies over. This ban obviously assumes there's a big market for chubby chasing kiddie fiddlers  - who knows?

This ban is of particular concern for the Mail reporters and publishers because, as Minority Thought points out, they like to publish a lot of uncomfortably risque photos and stories about kids. Their obsession with Suri Cruise and now Coco Arquette (And Frankie from the Saturdays who, although a grown woman now, did used to be in S Club Juniors and that just makes it weird) knows no bounds and must be flogging newspapers to someone somewhere.

This? Oh this is just to take up space.
No one's suggesting the Daily Mail prints
Weird photos of kids to attract people like
Gary to their website. No, no one's suggesting
that at all.

Tweet