Big Dick joins the fight

Earlier this week I blogged about the the schools sports day fiasco as reported in the Mail. Obviously the big swinger himself read this (Ahem) took the theme and ran with it, like the big fat asthmatic pudding his photo byline depicts.

Like most things in his Broken Britain vision of the world kids not running in a race is down to Elf n safety and/or Yuman rites however the local education spokesman wouldn't say which, probably because he wasn't asked. Salt was rubbed into the wound by replacing the Egg & Spoon race with an Egg balancing competition; which is exactly what an Egg & Spoon race is isn't it?

The headmaster, Chris Knowles, of the school in question is furious - really furious, not pretend furious like the made up parent that was quoted in the Mail story. He defends the accusations of lazy kids guzzling Irn-Brew, sitting on their backsides and paedo paranoia with a straight bat, but there's one thing that really gets his goat. They only went and bloody used a photo of the wrong school, amateurs.

To deliver his revenge Mr Knowles is releasing the big dogs on the Daily Mail. Some of the kids intend to write to the editor letting him know of their disgust at the way their school's been portrayed. There's a big risk they'll get missed though. The number of badly spelled pieces written in green crayon that pass through the editor's hands every day must be mind boggling.

It's all for nought anyway, as Big Dick points out our chances at the 2012 Olympics are already irrevocably damaged by this lack of competitive sack racing at junior schools. Apparently this definitely means that

If there was a gold medal for cowardice and petty-minded stupidity, Britain would clean up.

And if there was a Nobel prize for shiterature  he'd be in Oslo with a big shiny medal.

PS - Can't not mention the demise of the NOTW. What the hell kind of special services does Rebekah Brookes offer Rupert that mean she keeps her job at the expense of a whole newspaper? Wowsers! Tweet