Big big news day. Rupert Murdoch stands down his need to own every news and entertainment outlet in the world. For a bit. Vince Cable gets asked what his opinion of the whole News International shenanigans is and manages not to yell out "I 'kin told you this last year and you sacked me for it you bastards!" and his replacement, Jeremy (rhyming slang) Hunt wonders if he'll still get the suitcase full of cash he was promised as it wasn't really his fault it all went tits up. Gordon Brown blows his spuds in the commons - come on man let it all out - and Suri Cruise doesn't always wear a coat.
But the question we've all be talking about round our end is, "Where's all the chubbas gone off of 'telly?" Thank the lord the Mail's all over this bad boy like a tramp on a sandwich.
We're treated to a long line of happy go lucky fatties who've stopped munching chips, started eating cous cous and running down to Holland & Barrett for Milk Thistle.
This can only be good for TV, finally we don't have to put up with our screens being filled with their enormous bloated trainee corpses and instead can enjoy the studio set. Some craftsmen have spent literally minutes knocking that chipboard together.
Or have they spoken too soon? A quick look up the screen and what have we here:
Better invest in new widescreen TV then. Selfish fat gets.