Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Fashion victim persecuted

Ed Smith is a man at the end of his tether it seems. His B&B business at Bridgewater farm in Dundry, near Bristol, is under attack. The attack dogs that are about him have come from a place worse than Hades - they've come from the independent planning inspectorate.

His thriving venture into the hotel industry is under threat because he likes swallows. He likes swallows so much he says he raised the roof. Literally, not like some N-Dubz B side where they rant on about Raising da roof, We'll get to da truth, Bangin' dem hoes, Coz I got da flows... or something like that. No he lifted the roof of a barn 75cm so that swallows could nest inside. Unfortunately his farm being in a green belt he needed planning permission to do this and didn't get round to sending the form in or something.

This has made Ed quite angry - so angry in fact he's forgotten all sense of decorum and in his eagerness to pose for a photo fit for "Angry people in local newspapers" he foolishly got dressed in the 70's,left his socks on and chose sandals.

Or maybe his feet have gone blue
with the cold??
Anyway, sartorial ineptitude aside, it appears the proprietor of trip advisor's 67th best B&B in Bristol (out of 81) might not have told the Mail the whole truth.

According to the actual appeal decision report - which Rebecca Seales (The journalist who cut and pasted this piece from the local Bristol paper) could have found by using the internet, yes that's right this thing right here squeezed between the porn - there were numerous infringements including a two and a half meter roof lift that was presumable made for roosting ostriches.

In reality Ed decided to convert the barns into rooms to let out to the tourist hordes of Bristol. He needed to raise the roof and put more windows in the barns because the numbers of agoraphobic dwarves needing lodging in the area didn't cover his costs. Unfortunately he didn't bother with planning permission 'cos that's for squares. Rebels like him don't follow the rules they make them, or break them, or bitch to the local paper when they get caught breaking them.

Are they swallows or ostriches?
However this is one of those laws that only apply to other people - not the comfortable readership of the Mail - this man is a businessman, a wealth creator and an honest tax payer. Unless you believe LipSmacker on Tripadvisor who thinks he fiddles his VAT. So the affronted are out in droves banging on about bureaucratic busybodies sticking their nose into nearly-honest wheeler-dealers money making schemes.

He deserves to be pictured dressed like an over-friendly cub scout leader in a national newspaper because he thought he could get away with doing whatever he wanted in order to make a fast buck. He can't, there are rules to protect the green belt from over development so we don't end up living in a never ending Croydon inspired urban sprawl.

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