Take your medicine...

...Andy needs a new pair of shoes.

But unfortunately he's come up against a rabid left wing conspiracy theory to land him in trouble with his masters.

Those commie dogs the BMA (Think NUM with a guillotine) have dared to speak out against his plan to make the NHS great again by letting the lowest bidder put their instrument up your ass.

According to our friends at the Mail the 'most powerful trade union in the health service' have had the audacity to point out that none of the stuff Andy wants to do was mentioned by either the conservatives or the Lib Dems in their election manifestos. In fact the Lib Dem are particularly peeved, so much so that even Nasty-Nick had to say out loud that privatising the NHS is bad.

Who the hell do these cowboys think they are eh? And what do they know? They don't represent all the doctors in the country, only about 140,000 of them (There's about 220,000 Doctors in the UK and about 110,000 work for the NHS) and as a spokesman for the Dept of health says "The BMA's own survey shows their position is not representative of many of their members"


He's right the BMA's own survey of their members shows about a fifth of doctors broadly support the proposals, however over a third are against the ideas. In fact even amongst the supporters less than half of them think it will lead to a more effective health service and over half think it will lead to them spending less time with patients. Maybe that's the incentive for the pro-reformers. I wouldn't want to spend all that time studying hard only to have to waste each day listening to fat old men complaining about chest pains and then have to stick my finger up his bum.

So that's why a minority of patient-avoiding doctors would be happy with the changes oh that coupled with the Guardian's thoughts they might get paid a bit more, but why is Andy Lansley gagging for the change?

It can't be that he's getting money from a private healthcare company could it? No of course not, he's not a bent politician only in it for himself. They only exist in foreign lands, he's from Essex a county with a reputation for honesty. That's why there's so many second hand car dealers in Romford.



It's a coincidence that Care UK - a private healthcare company that's spent £3m on a clinic providing ultrasound diagnostics to anyone who wants to pay for them and another £2m for a specialist eating disorder clinic in the first two months of this year, just in time for an opening up of the NHS to private healthcare companies - gave him over £20,000 to spend on curtains for his office.

So obviously he's not doing this because he's corrupt. No he's doing it because he's a bastard.
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Worried Winston

Moustachioed medical maestro Lord Winston has been questioning if the government's NHS reforms will improve the services on offer or actually lead to a decline in service.

For better or for worse?

In my opinion the reforms are not an effort to improve the NHS's services more an attempt to introduce the potential for someone, anyone, to make some money.

GPs are not business managers, at school I hope they paid more attention in Biology that they did in Business studies and I bet few of them had any interest in running the school bank or flogging fake Rolexes to their classmates.

A lot of them still won't be interested, but now they've no option. Unless of course they employ some sort of management company to do this admin for them. Bingo there we have it, there's money to be made here.

I believe making a profit from public services reduces the quality of those services.

Wherever there is profit to be made in public service you are effectively removing money from that service. Pay £100 to get your broken arm fixed to a public institution and the ineffectiveness associated with the public sector will mean you only get value from three quarters of your money. So £75 worth of plaster-cast care is what you'd receive.

The private sector is a different kettle of fish though. Much more slick and effective, They'd be up there at 85% effectiveness so maybe you're onto a good thing? Except there's the profit that needs to be taken first. So remove the lucky shareholder's £20 and then you'll actually get 85% of you £80 or £68 worth of nursey care. So not great value really.

These numbers are plucked from the air but the principle stands. Where something is done for profit you always need to remove the shareholder's Barbados trip cash before starting to spend money on the service. Therefore you get less stuff for your money.

However if there's money to be made you'll get more than one person trying to grab the cash. Competition occurs and maybe the patient can get a slightly better deal. Company A may be saving for his Barbados trip but Company B has smaller ambitions and has his eye on a fortnight in Benidorm. So maybe company B will be cheaper. This philosophy of market forces runs through the conservative mindset and many think the NHS would be improved if competition were greater and the potential to make a buck the driver. A privatised NHS would offer this opportunity.

Is turning doctors into small-businessmen the thin end of the wedge? The Conservatives have always pledged allegiance to the principles of the NHS, ensuring it is free at point of contact, but deep down inside I feel they harbour a a grizzling grudge that public opinion wouldn't allow privatisation; even if it offered a better service at less cost to the tax payer.

The Health secretary, Andrew Lansley, has been on Radio 4 last week answering listeners questions and left an email address where he promised to answer any more questions posed. The email address is here

So I've asked the hypothetical question. If a privatised NHS could be guaranteed to offer a better service at a reduced cost to the public purse would he consider it as a way forward? Tweet