Thursday, 25 October 2012

Daily Mail publicises Jesus fellatio blog

As is well known throughout God-bothering-land being fruity is a sin that will end up with you spending eternity in hell and there's nothing you can do about it, until now...

As detailed in MailOnline Reverend Bob Larson can cast out the demon within and leave you dribbling at the sight of Girls Aloud for completely different reasons to what you were used to.

If you really loved him you would.
This is a great story but it appears the Mail's not noticed the origin of the video. Look at the top left hand side - OnKneesforJesus - that's not a slip up. It comes from a cool blog whose owner's bio reads "My life is all about getting on my knees and faithfully servicing Jesus until He comes"

The video itself is piss funny...

I wonder if they'll notice?
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Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Paul Broun is a bit thick

More worryingly Paul Broun is also a Republican Congressman in Georgia, and worse still he's a qualified medical doctor. A qualification he didn't get off the internet. However the cherry on top of the cake he serves on the Congress committee for Science & Technology.

The reason this is so scary is because of what he said in front of an audience of talking stags - in much the same way Manuel once did in Torquay. Watch the video and ponder how on earth one of the most technological advanced nations in the world can be led by fuckwits like this chump.

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Monday, 8 October 2012

Brass band members now fair game

Populist headline in the Daily Telegraph...

Leaves this poor fella fearing for his safety.

It's open season on
Buglers - get him boys!

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Saturday, 6 October 2012

Jim'll Fix it

James Delingpole - the Telegraph's resident bat shit crazy anti-science tin foil hat wearer is standing for parliament. Corby-trouser-press in Leicestershire is the borough that will be retaining his deposit after the by-election.

The constituency, having some fields in it, falls right into JD rant territory and as such he's standing on a ticket of building dry stone walls, or fracking for gas or using windmills to grind wheat or something. I'll be honest I didn't really pay attention. All I know is he's rabidly against coal or nuclear power or something and loves gas, even more than Sid did.

Anyway - whatever madness is in his views - he's taken to the self-publication circuit like a tramp to meths. What tickled me was his attempt at electioneering involving the ubiquitous photo op of  him nibbling the skull of an infant. The woman in the background can obviously see traces of grey matter running down his chin and staining his tank top.

I can feel his intelligence
seeping into my being

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Wednesday, 3 October 2012

What does Jesus want?

An eternal question that has puzzled mankind (and Mary Magdalene) for hundreds of years is "What does Jesus want from me?" On the one hand he says love your neighbour and help the poor and on the other hand he threatened to set big angry dogs onto some fella's kids. Retribution Council estate style.

Safer than mocking a certain
other messenger from god
However if there's one thing we can be certain of he didn't want you to pour Chardonnay through a hosepipe stuck up your bum.

Alexandra Broughton - who whines on and on about not being gay - is deeply unhappy that police released details of his drunken bum fun with friends as it's unchristian, so much so that as soon as his lawyer can think of a reason he'll be suing them for laughing at him.

Too late Alex boyo - you said this is against God's law (It's somewhere near the back in the weird bit where the world's ending I assume) and he was watching. He knows what you do when you've got a tube, a copy of Men's health magazine, half a bottle of communion wine and some butter, and he's laughing about it with his mate Budda, in fact all the deities are pissing themselves at you.

Butt Chugger Alex Broughton
regrets God catching him in an
awkward moment

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